Walking Wounded

But seriously, I've had it. I mean really, I have had it. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm looking for something that will provide me some sort of peace, contentment, better yet; meaning. You try so hard to accomplish certain goals, tasks, see or experience new things. Become consumed by this or that thinking its the right thing to do or the right path to go down, then the floor gives out sending you hurtling down into this limbo of sorts. Not that you're unaware of your surroundings, its just that there is no light permitting you to see clearly if at all. But in retrospect I have no reason to be dissatisfied. I shouldn't complain though, because of the things I've been blessed with or been provided in life. But yet when I try to remove the arrow lodged in my chest the serrated edges prohibit me from extracting it. Where has this cynicism come from and when will it fade away. Nothing I do seems to ease my attitude nor make waking on a daily basis any easier with festering wounds which will not heal. The irony is, this is all my fault, I mean it is my mindset which is leading, or shall I say preventing me from making a significant shift out of this quagmire I'm stuck in. I know what will assist me in making a change, the problem is I'm too proud to seek it out