Shattered Pieces

Staggering, simply staggering how the trials and tribulations of life do indeed lead each and everyone of us. In my eyes life can be summed up by a series of glancing blows aimed at the heart. Each assault upon it is a lesson in survival coping with the wounds that impact us to a greater degree than others. But what of the direct hits, those attacks which find their target. These pinpoint strikes are devastating, and bring with them a ferocity and a propensity that is hard to comprehend. The damage inflicted is severe, one must almost have an admiration for such onslaughts because of the implications they bring with them. They unwittingly creep up and absolutely reek havoc upon the unsuspecting individual.

Had so much I was looking forward to, so many things I wanted to do and with so many people but now it appears things have changed. Things have to change but I would have never imagined in this way. I Did not require or even need many things out of life. Just wanted to get through it for the most part unscathed by wounds such as this. What did I want? I wanted to listen to my future wife's heartbeat next to mine, I wanted to just listen to my son breathing as he slept in his crib. Simple things, simple desires but now these have been torn away. Events I looked forward to now I can't see anything that will bring me the joy these events would have. I have a different burden to bear, a certain price to pay in life. Why of all things did this have to happen.

My heart won't be the same, I don't think I'll ever be the same. That's the worst part of this, knowing where you came from and realizing the point you're at now and looking back and remarking I wish I was still there. I wish I still had the sense of joy, peace, and happiness but I just can't find them. And that's what hurts the most.